“Don’t Count Me In”

by Gabie Goni

It was 1997 when I set foot in a protestant church for the first time in my life.  I was taken aback my surroundings.  I was confronted by a very distinct view of my upbringing.  There was an ease, a sense of joy in a religious setting.  Very strange. Everyone seemed to have it together.  But did they really?  

After a few Sundays, I attended my first ladies’ breakfast event.  It was a breath of fresh air.  The women were surprisingly welcoming.  Much different from the cutthroat competitiveness of the world.  

I remember the speaker giving advice in the likes of: 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Trust? Trust in someone else was hardly part of my practice anymore.  After three decades of constant disappointment, I wasn’t about to surrender the leadership of my life to anyone.  Truly, I hadn’t done a great job myself but the thought of letting go was out of the question. 

The ladies all seemed to agree with the advice. I thought to myself, good for them. 

As days went by, the thought of having someone lead the way became more appealing.  It became an offer I couldn’t resist.  Trust in the Lord and let go of my ways?  God will lead the way and straighten my crooked path?  Did God have time to deal with someone insignificant like me? How could that be?  Wasn’t He tied up with important matters?  Did I really matter to Him? 

I committed to memorizing the two verses.  Seemed like a good idea.  Trust in the Lord.  Surrender your ways.  Acknowledge His presence all the time.  Sit back and watch. To my surprise hopelessness started giving way to an unrecognizable joy.  After all, wasn’t the Lord just requesting what was rightfully his? How could this be? I had been so rebellious all my life.  

As I thought about the repercussions, I said: I can’t do it.  I can’t trust you, Lord.  I don’t know who you are.  A gentle answer broke through the noise.  I have given you sixty-six books and they will reveal who I am.  You will learn to trust me one step at a time.  Follow me, Gabie.  Learn to hear my voice as you read the Scripture by faith.  Never settle for less.  Always push for more.  I am not expecting you to trust me arbitrarily.  I will speak to you so you can rightly respond.  

It was just as He said.  Surely no one can trust someone they do not know.  Trust is based on knowledge. Consistent knowledge at that. God never expected Adam to trust him without revealing his will (Gn 1:28-30). God spoke clearly to Adam, consequences, and all (Gn 2:17).  

Abraham was not expected to trust the Lord with all his heart at the top of the mountain when asked to sacrifice his only son (Gn 22).  He had a history with the Lord. Abraham was asked to trust what the Lord had revealed to him about the heir of the covenant. 

Genesis 21:12b for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.

Indeed, the nation hung on this very son.  At that very difficult moment Abraham had the choice to trust in the Lord with all his heart and lean not on his own understanding. 

Was the Lord worthy of his trust?  The Lord had seen him through many difficult situations. He had already given up a son on account of the covenant.  Truly the Lord had prepared the way. 

We all know what happened when Abram had leaned on his own understanding.  It was a wise just trust in the Lord with all his heart, lean not on his own understanding or much less cave into the pressure around.  

Hebrews 11:17 By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, 18 of whom it was said, “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.”

A quarter of a century later, I cannot even remember the day when my own understanding

led the way of my life exclusively.  All I know now is that if not by his grace I would have never been saved.  Truly we cannot trust in someone we don’t really know. The Good news is God wants to be known and will never reject anyone who diligently seeks HIM.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

God has spoken loud and clear.  God is the same yesterday, today and forever.  He is immutable.  God is more than worthy of all my trust. How about yours? I will never regret the day I let go of the wheel for every little step has led me to a safety unknown. 

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

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Written by Gabie Goni.

Gabie and her husband, Robert, have been attending Park Road Pres for several years. Gabie is one of our Gospel Partners and the founder of  the Bible Institute for Women. The goal of this ministry is to educate and encourage every woman to run the race of new life in Christ for the glory of the Redeemer. Gabie has spent 15 years out of the 24 since Christ called her into his kingdom teaching and training women through instruction in the discipline of “Biblical Theology.” Her book, Redemption, God’s Rescue Plan, is currently available. To read more about Gabie’s ministry work, head to https://ibplm.com/